What does the narcissist person do to their victims?  Many times the victims are within the supposed close relationships that the narcissist has in their life.  I say ‘supposed’ because narcissists develop a largely superficial relationship even with their own spouses.  This is all that they want from people otherwise they may be discovered for who they really are.    Narcissism occurs on a continuum from a milder condition to a more severe personality disorder according to online information.  The pattern of the narcissist is repetitive and predictable.  My own experience of some of their patterns are as follows.

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Deception.  This is very, very, common.  The victim thinks that things are one way when they are actually quite different.  For example, they think they know their partner well, but they don’t.  The narcissist likes good people.  People with good personality traits.   Over time the narcissist applies the good traits of their victim to themselves and works to convince their victim that they are the bad one or the wrong one.   With a covert narcissist this is done subtly by innuendo, sly comments,  pointing out any errors that they can directly accuse you of, undermining your belief about your inner self, etc.  While they are doing this they will begin to tell you in subtle ways how good a person that they are by using your good traits that they imitate back to you as an example of proofs concerning their own innate goodness.  In this way they can actually switch the  reality of how the victim see themselves.  This is why many other people around the narcissist can testify as to how good a person the narcissist personality is.  It is a false image of himself or herself that the narcissist develops in the minds of others.

Outright lies.  The narcissist feeds their victims lies.  They’ll tell you stories about certain people they work with that are not true.  This is done to gain sympathy from their victim.   They’ll tell you that they invested some money with a particular company and you later find out that the investment company has no record of any money invested with them at any time.  The victim ends up living in lies.   The narcissist becomes the only one who knows the actual truth in the life they live daily with their spouse or other victim that they have targeted.  The narcissist uses lies to manipulate you into making a certain decision that they want you to make.  They do this by giving you false information that you then use to base your decision on.  The narcissist is so skillful at this that the victim has absolutely no idea what is actually going on.  In this way the narcissist undermines their very own family.   The saying, ‘narcissists eat their own’ is a true statement.  The narcissist tears down their own house over the years.  The victim often ends up with debilitating depression and anxiety that is perpetrated by the narcissist.  The victim doubts themselves because this is what the narcissist sets up and works toward.  They want their victim incapacitated, weak, doubtful, and emotionally depressed.

There is more… to be continued in a later post.